I want nothing more than to catch my bus, but I think if we all run fast enough and don't stop, we'll realize we never needed a bus in the first place.
that’s SUCH a powerful perspective. maybe the bus is just a symbol of where we think we’re supposed to be, but running without it could lead us to a place that’s even better (one we never expected).
Good luck to you!! never stop dreaming. Always pursue your dreams even if it feels impossible. I totally feel the same way when it comes to writing. Also, you are so gorgeous! I’d hire you for sure
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. dream chasing, soul searching, love tending, it can feel like growing basil in soil made of concrete. so easy to get discouraged and doubtful, and maybe that too is a part of the journey. i woke up this morning feeling some type of head-dragging-at-my-toes-in-frustration with everything, where im telling myself im at, where i need to be, where im telling myself others are at, seeing all these buses pass by with people celebrating or crying in elation, and cursing myself for not having the energy to stand up and get on. brutal.
i spent the next hour making brunch—potatoes sautéed low for 40 minutes, peppers, onions, garlic, wild mushrooms, all the seasonings, fresh rosemary, oregano—ate it in bed, and was led to this post, your post, like a note left behind for the next person who followed, a reminder that sometimes the bus we need may also be waiting for us to stop chasing ones that we barely made it off of to begin with, hoping to spend a day resting in bed, being gentle enough to let ourselves grieve the stops missed, and hope for the ones to come.
I feel this in my soul. It feels impossible to do what I love, especially because I didn’t study it. I never thought I was good enough, and always studied and applied toward things where I knew I “excelled.” I only based that comparing myself to others. While I was working, I said I needed to make money to one day only focus on my writing. I never had the energy. Now I’m unemployed. I have the time. Maybe this is my bus?
I felt this in my soullllll I did acting on stage for 12 years and screen acting for 4. I was with an agency was booking national commercials and campaigns bro it was so taxing I was the unhappiest I’ve ever been
wow feel like were living very similar lives ova here lol at dinner recently my dad came to the conclusion that "making it" fully dependent on your proximity to those who are already in "it" and if you haven't "made it" after a few years then its not meant to be. he was talking about the music industry and I am an actress as but I know his feelings crossover to all non-traiudional creative pursuits. me realizing that he thinks I am at a dead end was a low blow but I really would like to prove him wrong, better yet id like to bring him along with me.
ah I resonated with this so deeply. decided to pursue a career pathway for financial security over my dream to become a linguistic anthropologist (I want to document an endangered language but it requires a PhD) and still trying to weave my dreams and devotions (hobbies) into my life outside of work/school. in a very formative conversation with a woman in her 40s, she told me that there IS time to do it all - she said it takes 11 years to master a skill, and you can do many in your lifetime. was very encouraging to me, and I still think of it to this day. our dreams are our devotions, and gifts to share with others ❤️ rooting for you!!
I'm wondering if you could start documenting an endangered language to the degree that it's possible without a PhD. Even if it wouldn't be professionally recognized. That freelance research and documentation possibly could lead to other opportunities.
thank you for this piece—it felt so vulnerable and relatable. my dad comes with a v similar energy acc and my response is always the same: if you wanted me to have a security blanket of guaranteed regular income and a home, you should have secured those things for me before you decided i was ready to be born.
I admire you for your mindset - it's really tough to push past that self doubt. a lot of people out there give up on their dreams before even starting and you're out here giving it your all. rooting for you! (you're beautiful btw!!)
"Maybe... maybe some dreams are meant to stay hobbies."
Your beloved father could have worded it this way: "Maybe... maybe some dreams are temporarily meant to be "hobbies" of passion that someday will become fully realized...beyond your wildest dreams."
I want nothing more than to catch my bus, but I think if we all run fast enough and don't stop, we'll realize we never needed a bus in the first place.
that’s SUCH a powerful perspective. maybe the bus is just a symbol of where we think we’re supposed to be, but running without it could lead us to a place that’s even better (one we never expected).
Exactly!!! There's enough doubt in the world, we should always believe in ourselves no matter what. I can't wait to see the roles you get :)
Good luck!! I believe you'll make it purely because you have the resolve to do so
thank you!! 🫂
Good luck to you!! never stop dreaming. Always pursue your dreams even if it feels impossible. I totally feel the same way when it comes to writing. Also, you are so gorgeous! I’d hire you for sure
Thank you so much! That means a lot. I really appreciate the kind words and support. Life is too short to not pursue our dreams! <3
this just inspired me to chase my dreams yet again. rooting for you girl!! 🤍🤍
Rooting for you too <3
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. dream chasing, soul searching, love tending, it can feel like growing basil in soil made of concrete. so easy to get discouraged and doubtful, and maybe that too is a part of the journey. i woke up this morning feeling some type of head-dragging-at-my-toes-in-frustration with everything, where im telling myself im at, where i need to be, where im telling myself others are at, seeing all these buses pass by with people celebrating or crying in elation, and cursing myself for not having the energy to stand up and get on. brutal.
i spent the next hour making brunch—potatoes sautéed low for 40 minutes, peppers, onions, garlic, wild mushrooms, all the seasonings, fresh rosemary, oregano—ate it in bed, and was led to this post, your post, like a note left behind for the next person who followed, a reminder that sometimes the bus we need may also be waiting for us to stop chasing ones that we barely made it off of to begin with, hoping to spend a day resting in bed, being gentle enough to let ourselves grieve the stops missed, and hope for the ones to come.
take care of your dreams, they’re already here.
that last line, so powerful wow
I feel this in my soul. It feels impossible to do what I love, especially because I didn’t study it. I never thought I was good enough, and always studied and applied toward things where I knew I “excelled.” I only based that comparing myself to others. While I was working, I said I needed to make money to one day only focus on my writing. I never had the energy. Now I’m unemployed. I have the time. Maybe this is my bus?
YESSS this 100%
I felt this in my soullllll I did acting on stage for 12 years and screen acting for 4. I was with an agency was booking national commercials and campaigns bro it was so taxing I was the unhappiest I’ve ever been
We are sooo similar
wow feel like were living very similar lives ova here lol at dinner recently my dad came to the conclusion that "making it" fully dependent on your proximity to those who are already in "it" and if you haven't "made it" after a few years then its not meant to be. he was talking about the music industry and I am an actress as but I know his feelings crossover to all non-traiudional creative pursuits. me realizing that he thinks I am at a dead end was a low blow but I really would like to prove him wrong, better yet id like to bring him along with me.
That last line. Ugh 🫂 we’ve got this
ah I resonated with this so deeply. decided to pursue a career pathway for financial security over my dream to become a linguistic anthropologist (I want to document an endangered language but it requires a PhD) and still trying to weave my dreams and devotions (hobbies) into my life outside of work/school. in a very formative conversation with a woman in her 40s, she told me that there IS time to do it all - she said it takes 11 years to master a skill, and you can do many in your lifetime. was very encouraging to me, and I still think of it to this day. our dreams are our devotions, and gifts to share with others ❤️ rooting for you!!
I'm wondering if you could start documenting an endangered language to the degree that it's possible without a PhD. Even if it wouldn't be professionally recognized. That freelance research and documentation possibly could lead to other opportunities.
let’s just say many buses weren’t meant to be my bus 😭
Wishing you abundance in your journey!!
thank you for this piece—it felt so vulnerable and relatable. my dad comes with a v similar energy acc and my response is always the same: if you wanted me to have a security blanket of guaranteed regular income and a home, you should have secured those things for me before you decided i was ready to be born.
I admire you for your mindset - it's really tough to push past that self doubt. a lot of people out there give up on their dreams before even starting and you're out here giving it your all. rooting for you! (you're beautiful btw!!)
"Maybe... maybe some dreams are meant to stay hobbies."
Your beloved father could have worded it this way: "Maybe... maybe some dreams are temporarily meant to be "hobbies" of passion that someday will become fully realized...beyond your wildest dreams."
Great post Jolaya. It's all in the mind. Run, sprint, don't jog. Also your headshot is gorgeous! What were you in?
also ur the most talented person i know and i have zerooooooo doubts that a great opportunity will snatch u up